Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Sheep husbandry...because I know you were wondering.

Shortly, I will fulfill the purpose implied by the title of this post, but first I need to think "aloud" for a few sentences.

Bear with me a moment or two. It'll be entertaining soon. Maybe.

We're treating this blog as a social experiment, in which I find out how many random strangers will read the blog without knowing anything about me. However, several people are reading this blog because they're hearing about it from other people.

So my question is, if people read the blog without knowing who I am, but knowing that a friend likes reading the blog, aren't they reading "for" someone else? You know, like what I was talking about a couple of entries ago...hmmm. I mean, in that case I'm not the one they're "researching," but they're actually "researching" whichever friend recommended it...ahhh. I suppose this little experiment can't be completely flawless. I guess this is just how the world works, though, and my one webpage floating around in cyberspace can't exactly change that.

Oh, will still be interesting...provided that people are actually reading this. People I don't know personally. Not that I don't love you friends of mine. You know I do. But, you know, I'm trying to open up to a new audience or whatever.

All right, now the serious stuff: SHEEP HUSBANDRY.

Admit it, you're curious now. You want to know what I could possibly have to say on the subject of sheep husbandry. Or how I even decided on this topic. Go on, put your right hand in the air, put your left hand on your stack of Sara Bareilles CDs (Dear God, I'm just joking. Please have a sense of humor, I'd love to go to heaven someday. Amen.), and say, "I solemnly swear that I do not understand what is going on in this blogger's mind, and would very much like to find out." Well, fine. I'll share. Since that's the whole reason I've written anything today at all...

(Side note: "Solemnly" is such a weird word to spell/say. By the time I managed to spell it right, I spent another thirty-odd seconds trying to pronounce every letter and not sound like Nemo saying "anemone." Also, I don't know if anyone actually uses "thirty-odd" in that context, but I just wanted to. Don't be criticizing. Oh, and, since you were thinking it anyway, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.")

I was on Mystery Seeker just now...I think it's still sponsored by Google, but it's a search engine that gives you results from another case you didn't know. I do that for fun. Even though about 65% of the results are either Harry Potter-related (YES), Twilight-related (lame), or people advertising their super-lame blogs (that's me).

Anyway, I came up with the result "domestic sheep," which led me to "sheep husbandry terminology." It's weird, you guys...and yet purely awesome.

For example, I learned that the weather bureau actually issues a cold-weather warning for sheep graziers called the "Graziers' alert." I might have to raise sheep, just to hear the announcement telling me that "it's too stankin' chilly outside to feed your sheep. They will break their incisors on frozen blades of grass." (Yes, sheep have incisors. I looked it up just to be sure.)

Oh, here's one you'll like: THE GUARD LLAMA.

Yup. It's exactly what it sounds like. A castrated male llama kept with sheep as a guard against critters like foxes and dogs. I would like to have a guard llama. I think my roommate might be a little weirded out, though. Plus....they smell.

And here is the best sheep husbandry term you never heard.

Riggwelter: a sheep that has fallen onto its back and is unable to get up.

I stared at the definition for a full ten seconds wondering if it was a joke or not. Apparently a sheep's fleece can weigh so much that the little dear (haha, that was a little punny) can't stand up after falling over.

You'd think these sheep husbandry people would spend a little less time coming up with wild terms and a little more time righting their tipped-over sheep. (Please picture a farmer running around a field and standing his sheep back up on four feet, one by one. It's quite an image.)

Doesn't "riggwelter" sound like a really creative curse word...? Or a nice euphemism? I'm all about euphemisms. Let's start something, you riggwelters, you.

Mischief managed.


  1. Well I thought I should let your know so that your research is accurate. I read your blogs because I see them announced on your Facebook page. Of course I will not reveal your identity here but I do know who you are. I found your first entry entertaining and I love your casual writing style. I almost became a follower but I thought it would be more fun to just stalk you. Not in a creepy way - just in a non-deranged fan sort of way.

  2. Well played.
    And well prophesied.
    How did you know I'd love the guard llama so much?

  3. Blogs, formsprings, AIM screennames, email addresses...the things you find on MysterySeeker. Interesting thoughts. I like.

  4. ^ see, *insert name that i know but will not reveal*, it worked! and random ppl are now reading your blog! yay! (or at least one...but its a start!)