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Monday, July 26, 2010

On/At/With Life.

Greetings, Blogees (and blue cheese. Sorry, couldn't help myself...).

Whoa, two in one day...I know, I'm such a wild woman.

I was just wondering...if they put those little plastic rings on cupcakes, why am I the only one who wears them? The best part is, I get compliments on little hunks of plastic that I snitched off mass-produced baked goods. Go to Walmart, you guys! Your jewelry collection will benefit!

All right, touche, you got me. Obviously, if you read my bloggings, you will learn little tidbits about me. For example, I had someone (who will remain unidentified) comment that Sara Bareilles would probably not play a guy in a movie about his life. So I must be a girl. Well done, mystery detective. I am, in fact, a girl. (And I do, in fact, read all of your comments.)

I suppose what I was saying is that you can't just instantaneously click on some "about me" hyperlink or flip through photo albums with my full legal name in all the captions. You have to READ. And usually, people don't want to read unless they know who they're reading for.

Think about it.

Generally, you're interested in what you read because someone else made you interested. Someone recommends a book, you read your best friend's Twitter like it's the Bible (or the Qu'ran, or the Torah, or the Holy Book of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (It's legit! Wikipedia it!) (Double parentheses!)), you Facebook stalk your mildly attractive acquaintances...and why do you do this?

Your life is a never-ending research project.

Now, before you proceed to gouge your eyes out with the spacebar that you just dislodged from your keyboard, let me explain. Actually, let me not explain. Let you consider it.

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All set? No, I still want to explain. When I thought about this, I got really excited to share it. Hence, the bloggings.

(By the way, in no way am I writing this in order to sound superior. I know I'm not. I'm just writing what pops into my head. I'm also not trying to be funny, because believe me, very few people are blessed with the gift of being funny when they're actually trying to be funny. You know what I mean.)

We rely on information to fuel every aspect of our existence. Information ties us together. You possess a great deal more knowledge concerning your friends than I do (about your friends, of course...this was a rather poorly constructed sentence, so I'm just making it worse now. I think I'll end a sentence with a preposition now ON AT WITH.). This allows you to say the right things to them, see the right movies with them, and give them the right birthday presents. Ba-bam. Friends.

You listen to your friends so as to gain more knowledge about them, binding you and your friends more tightly together, and allowing you to share more information about yourself. It's a cycle. (Begin "Circle of Life" theme from The Lion King. It's completely appropriate. I'll start it off: "AHHHHHHHHHHHGSNSDABEGNGHNSDAAAAAAASCOODAHBEEEEEHNDEHMBFUHAAAAAWHENDJUBRAHAHA." You're welcome.)

Where was I going with that? Oh, right. We all read for others. We want to know about others, we want to know what makes people tick and tock (...just like Ke$ha. Don't judge.), so we read New York Times bestsellers and Twitter and Facebook and cookbooks and magazines. We're studying.

You benefited from reading even this, see? No matter what you're doing (within reason, troublemakers) you can tell your parents you're studying.

Now you know! Well, you know what I think.

And you (probably) don't really know who I am. Not really.

So what are you studying for?

5 comments:

  1. HogwartsClassOf2011July 26, 2010 at 8:29 PM

    I'm studying for my N.E.W.T.'s already. Last year I only got one Outstanding in Defence Against the Dark Arts in my O.W.L.'s, and I need an Outstanding in Potions if I ever want to become an Auror.

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  2. if this was facebook i would "like" the above comment.

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  3. just so you know: i sounded out the entire begining of the "circle of life" as i read that, and i believe you got every letter right!

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  4. that is completely true. i stalk my mildly attractive friends...once i run out of very attractive friends, that it ;) but i didnt realize that was a common thing and/or a widely accepted fact. good to know im not alone.

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