Circumstantial Cannibalism.

Blogger is playing sick jokes on me. Apparently this is post 32, after all. But I see 30 on the side of the screen. Oh, well. As if it matters.

So apparently human flesh tastes like beef, but a little sweeter, and the texture is softer. Believe me, I wasn't curious...until I typed "what do people..." and the first search suggestion returned "what do people taste like?" I wanted to ask, "What do people want to read?" You know, so I would know what to write. But that cannibalism option came up and I wondered. Sweet beef just doesn't sound that appealing, though, so no worries. I have no wish to consume a fellow human being.

I feel like I've written about this before...didn't I tell you guys about the tofu alternative to cannibalism that I found online? I still don't know if that's a joke or not.

All right...you hungry? How about some food for thought?

I may have touched on this before, but hey...repetition is a literary device for a reason. Here we go.

In my opinion, one of the least understanding things a person can say is "I understand." Similarly, one of the most infuriating things a person can say is, "You have no idea." Both of these little expressions basically demonstrate a lack of respect for the joys, burdens, struggles, and experiences of others.

Well, not always. You probably know what I mean, though. There are times when it's nice to say you understand...and other times when there's no way you could possibly understand, and you're wasting everyone's time by pretending you do.

The point is...if someone truly understands the situation, the last thing he/she/it will do is say so.

Sugar Shower.

I do a lot of thinking in the shower. Which is pretty impressive, because I take really short/efficient showers. Generally speaking. Anyway, for some reason I was thinking about that song from Mary Poppins that says, "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." You know the one. Beautifully optimistic and what not. So, naturally, I tried to apply the lyrics to my own life--but I came upon a problem.

TOO
MUCH
SUGAR.

I know that must be kind of irritating for you guys--for me to say that I enjoy every aspect of life, but...seriously. I must be on some crazy life-sugar kick ALL THE TIME. Well...I guess I could probably put some select schoolwork/bad drivers/tetanus shots in the medicine cabinet. But still. I should probably work on diluting my sugar intake or something. (Except not.)

So, you know...application time. What's in your medicine cabinet? And, more importantly: how can you fill/overflow that spoon with sugar? Just something to consider.

Also...MAH SPOON IS TOO BIG.

(If you're lost, here's a road map: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbcFrEp07Yc)

Like,
Me. Who else?

P.S. You all failed the Blogee Test. My last post was not number 30. I failed a test of another kind, though...by calling it post number 30 in the first place. So, you know. Let's all move on with life.

He who jokes confesses.

Post number thirty! We should all get donuts or something. In general, not necessarily as a group. Donuts are just a blessing that should never be overlooked. On the other hand, we should go to a Brazilian churrascaria and get corações de frango...because I feel like you'd need me to be there in order for you to eat chicken hearts. (It's not as barbaric as it sounds. They're delicious.)

Okay, public forum question: is it weird to say "bless you" when you're in a public restroom and you hear someone sneeze from the toilet? It's something I'm very conflicted about. On the one hand, you could bless him/her and make their day a little brighter...or you could bless him/her and totally weird the person out because no one should interact in the bathroom. It's a private sanctuary. Which is why I don't understand that feminine tendency to go to the bathroom in a pack. That makes me anxious, to be honest.

What else? Life is good, you guys. Don't even deny it. You get one shot, so make the most of it. Just throwing that out there, since I've been seeing a lot of collective negativity from people.

You don't choose what happens to you; you do, however, choose how you react.

Choose joy.

Craving the Uncharted.

Ladies and g-g-g-gentlemen, it is my humble pleasure (what?) to present to you...

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...the first post of October, 2010!

Yeah, I know. Wa waaaa. You were probably expecting something a little more exciting. Like a pet rock or two free tickets to watch grass grow. (There's a good date idea. I hope you're taking notes.) The reason I mention October, though, is because at the end of this month (the 25th, to be exact), Of All Things will be four months old. Four months is a third of a year...and thinking about it terms of a year, I'd say this blog sounds pretty ancient, eh?

Speaking of pet rocks, I would just like to say that my first pet rock (a very gray, very heavy frog) introduced me to my love and appreciation for nature. And puppeteers. Because it is not easy to convince yourself that a stone frog can jump and catch flies and stuff.

So I know it’s been forever and a half (twenty eight days) since Sara Bareilles released her new album, Kaleidoscope Heart, but…oh, man. She’s my favorite, in case you haven’t heard. Only second to marching band…but definitely higher up on the list than pulled pork. Do you know how much I love pulled pork? A lot. But I love my Sara more. She’s gonna sing at my wedding, I swear.

Anyway…do you ever have those moments when you’re walking somewhere with your headphones in and a song comes on that just screams, “WHEN YOU MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT YOUR LIFE THIS SONG WILL BE PLAYING WHILE THE OPENING CREDITS ROLL.” ? (I didn’t feel like punctuating that correctly. I feel like it would make that all caps statement less effective.) Well, I get that feeling every time “Uncharted” comes on from Kaleidoscope Heart. In fact, I purposefully make sure it will start when I’m in the middle of my bike ride to class, just because I feel like I could conquer the world when I hear that song. Maybe I will someday. (You should probably treat that as a warning. Stockpile some canned yams and non-Sara music in your basement, because a new world is coming. My world.)

Because I know you care: I pulled my first real all-nighter last night. A couple of friends and I were just chatting (in other words, having intense discussions about the meaning of life, faith, human consciousness, and perception) and we kind of just watched Sunday evolve into Monday. At 6 or 6:15 this morning we all kind of looked at each other and said some variation of “Breakfast, anyone?” What an odd morning. I still haven’t slept…but I feel fine. I should be a music major, just because I love music and don’t seem to require sleep in order to function.

Well…time for class. Hopefully my lack of sleep doesn’t cause me to lose it in the middle of discussion and start running circles around desks and hollering and drooling and stuff. Not that that kind of thing ever happens. I mean…really. Get real.

Sweet daydreams, blogees!