Hangdog Delights.

Okay, so I literally Googled "what to write about" and one of the results was "Ten Guilty Pleasures." So here it goes.

First of all, am I the only person in the world who thinks "guilty pleasure" is the worst term for something one does when one could be doing something more productive? It just sounds awful and mildly inappropriate. Not that my mind works that way.

Okay, guilty pleasures, then.

1) PBS Kids. Yes, yes, yes. I know. Of all things...PBS Kids is my number one guilty pleasure? (I named this blog "of all things" for a reason. Welcome to reason number one: I don't make sense.) I know every word to almost every theme song on PBS weekday afternoons. And I know I'm not the only one. Arthur is my personal favorite, because his life is so doggone tidy. He has problems, and they clean right up. Streak-free. No scar tissue. Beautiful life. Plus, he's an aardvark. Know how I know how to spell that? Because of the episode "Arthur and the Spelling Bee," when Mr. Read tells Arthur to put words to songs. So he makes this whole song up to learn how to spell the first word on the list, "aardvark," and that ends up being the only word he has to spell to get into the Spell-a-thon. (See? This is a serious problem. I should see a doctor or something.)

2) Anything and everything about deodorant. Mostly applying it, but I like shopping for new scents or brands or whatever. I...just...love...deodorant. I can't explain it. Anyone who knows me knows that I reapply like...fifteen times a day. (And now, a whole bunch of strangers potentially know too. Yippee...) I have a stick in my room, in the bathroom, in my backpack, and in my trumpet case. Again, it's probably a psychological problem or something, but...it's not hurting anyone...

3) Dark chocolate. And not just because I'm a woman. It's a superfood, okay? I have every right to snitch chocolate chips from the cupboard at home. It's practically my responsibility to myself and to society. So there.

4) Blogging. I don't know why it's number four, but...anyway. I really like sharing random thoughts and reactions with friends and strangers. It's therapeutic, I think. Well, that's what I tell myself. Because you and I both know that we could both be doing something much better with our time right now.

5) Well...I drink a lot of VitaRain. It's Costco's vitamin water, except it totally tops any other brand of vitamin water because it's relatively cheap, and 0 cal, 0 fat, 0 sodium, 0 everything...except vitamins, of course. And EXPLOSIONS OF FLAVOR. ("I'm working with some very unstable heeeerbs!" Accepted, anyone?) I love it. I drink too much of it...but...it's good for me. I think.

6) Facebook. I know I'm a teenager in the modern era and everything, and it can only be expected that I would love Facebook, but...it's more than that. I love learning about people! I like to guess peoples' stories, which is why I friend everyone.

(Okay...side note. I signed up to be in a quiet room on a quiet floor. My floor is 50% honors housing. Since nine o'clock, girls have been shrieking and running up and down the hall like the Mad Hatter is cackling from every dark corner. I'm completely at a loss. Should I join them? Am I crushing everyone's spirits by finishing my homework and updating my blog? And how in the name of John T. Madden do they manage to laugh through six walls? What could possibly be that funny?)

7) Romantic comedies. I am in no way a "girly girl," but romantic comedies just pull me right in. When I have a night off, I seriously stream them instantly through Netflix, make popcorn, and watch them by myself in my room. It's pathetic...but I kind of love it.

8) I memorize stuff for fun. Like...anything, really. I used to open to a random page in the encyclopedia and just memorize definitions word for word. Maybe that's why the memorization part of marching band comes fairly easily to me. I don't know. It's weird. I don't do it that much anymore, but...I still remember the textbook definition of a biological clock from seventh grade. For your information, it's "an internal timer that keeps track of a cycle of time and helps an organism stay in step with the rhythmic cycles of change in its environment." I told you it was weird. Why my mind chose to retain that definition, rather than what my teacher looked like, is beyond me.

9) I think I might be a little bit of a masochist. Battle-scar style. Not in a creepy, I-hurt-myself-for-fun kind of way. I think scars are sweet, and bruises are cool-looking. This is getting weird so I'm going to bring this to a close.

10) I'm a huge geek about music. I like to compare chord progressions and rhythmic structures of modern music...I like determining what songs are similar to other songs...I like comparing artists...I memorize jazz solos...65% of the music I listen to is either jazz or classical...and I would honestly be a music major if I didn't detest practicing as much as I detest practicing. (Hint: it's a lot. Enough that I really don't practice. Which would be a problem if I was a music major.) I like where I'm headed in life anyway. It's all good.

So...there you have it! A rough compilation of my guiltiest pleasures. Ugh. Weird. Dagnabbit, I should have put Lady Gaga music on there. Ah, well. Have a good one!