Monday, September 20, 2010

From a Muggle's Standpoint. Dedicated to the Birthday Girl.

Today is a very special is a very good friend's birthday! (I think I'll keep her anonymous, otherwise I'd be attesting to some serious hypocrisy here. Let's just say she's quite the sister to me.) There are approximately 358,192 birthdays every day (according to that could mean anything), but this one is particularly important. Therefore, I will seize this opportunity to discuss something of utmost importance and genuine general interest...not to mention the applicability to the common man/woman.

Muggle Quidditch.

I know you've been wondering. After reading this, you'll never have to wonder again!

Positions: 3 Chasers, 2 Beaters, 1 Seeker, 1 Keeper

The Chasers on a team pass a half-deflated volleyball/soccer ball (the Quaffle) to one another, trying to get around opposing team members to throw the Quaffle through one of three hoops at the other end of the pitch. Chasers may snatch the Quaffle from the other team's possession, knock it from another player's hands, and even tackle players if necessary. A score with the Quaffle is 10 points.

Beater: Beaters take control of the dodgeballs/kickballs (Bludgers), throwing them at Chasers and Seekers in order to disrupt their game strategy...and to slow them down in general. If a player is hit by a Bludger, he or she must drop any ball in his or her possession and run around the goal hoops before engaging in the game again. Only Beaters may touch the Bludgers without being penalized.

Seeker: The Seeker's job is to catch the Golden Snitch. The Snitch is transported via a long-distance runner dressed completely in gold. A tennis ball is placed inside a long sock, which is knotted at the end. This knotted sock (AKA the actual Snitch) hangs out of the Snitch runner's pocket. Seekers attempt to seize the Snitch from the pocket without touching the actual human Snitch. If that makes sense. The Snitch has the liberty to do whatever he or she chooses. The Snitch might leap into the bushes, go out to lunch, see a movie, or attend a wedding. (Yes, the latter has been done before. There are pictures.)

Keeper: The Keeper's job is the job of he or she guards the three hoops for his or her team. The hoops stand at about six feet tall. Pretty straightforward.

General Rules:

All members of each team line up alongside their own goal hoops before the game begins. All team members shut their eyes while the Snitch runs and hides. When the referee calls "Brooms up," the game begins. All players sprint to the center of the field to seize the Quaffle and Bludgers.

The game ends when the Snitch is caught
(does the bold font cancel out the passive verb?)...however, the team that catches the Snitch receives 30 points rather than 150, like in the book. Because that wouldn't make sense...there would be no reason for the rest of the team to be there. They could all get tea together and chat about Squibs and the Ministry while the Seekers and Snitch run all over the planet.

Oh, and of course...all of the above is done with a broom between every player's legs, at least one hand on the broom at a time.

Needless to say, it's a sport every Muggle should play. Such useful skills to be acquired.

Unfortunately, I seem to have missed the birthday deadline...but it's still the night of the wonderful day. Happy birthday, LJ! (That rhymes!) You are now a year older and a blog post wiser. Or something like that.

1 comment:

  1. aww that was the sweetest birthday present ever! and "sweet" as in soo thoughtful! not like sweet as in "AWESOEM DUDE!" thought, of course, this WAS awesome!!! :D thanks!

    -The Birthday Girl, Your #1 Fan, LJ